Welcome to Creating Your Happy Place! A podcast that explores how our spaces support (or sabotage) our happiness and make it easier (or harder) to reach our goals, then empowers you to do whatever it takes to get happy at home. 😊🏡

Today, we are talking with special guest Lela Day. Lela would describe herself as a “life and lemons” kinda gal, with a love for design, women empowerment, and all things chips and salsa!

Lela’s “Be the Light” bulb went off when West Elm shared her living room design on their Instagram page. So fast forward to, an Airbnb design business, small pillow babes shop, and her cozy casa that is her place of healing, love, and the beautiful canvas that helps her to create and realize my dreams. Follow Lela on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lela_day_design/

If you would rather read the episode than listen, we have provided a full transcription of the episode below. Enjoy!

Rebecca:

Welcome to Creating Your Happy Place, a podcast that explores how our spaces support or sabotage our happiness and then empowers you to do whatever it takes to get happy at home. I’m Rebecca West host of creating your happy place and author of the book Happy Starts at Home and I am so glad you’re here. On today’s episode, I am so excited to interview a gal that I really relate to because like me, she went through a divorce and she used her home as a place for healing and renewal as she emerged from the old chapter into a new and wonderful chapter of her life. But unlike me, she didn’t get to keep the house she had with her ex, which was kind of a bummer, because she and her ex had actually built the home of her dreams. And so part of her divorce was also losing the home of her dreams. And so I’m so excited to talk about how she turned those lemons into lemonade, and went from having a home of her dreams and what she thought was her dream life and to having a new home of her dreams and sharing it with friends around the world. So let me welcome to the show Airbnb host and designer. Lela Day. Welcome to the show Lela.

Lela:

Thank you, Rebecca. It’s so wonderful to be here.

Rebecca:

I’m so glad we’re going to have this conversation today because we have been through similar things.

Lela:

Yes, we have and it’s really shaped our lives hasn’t it?

Rebecca:

It really really has. Our lives and how we how we use our homes too I would say. So like I said in the intro, you built your dream home and what you thought was your dream life and then one day it went away, like it sometimes does for people. So tell us a little bit about but you know, I don’t know if people know this, but you are known for having one of the cutest homes on Instagram. So how did you get? I mean, I love it. Anybody who’s listening definitely to go to her Instagram feed and check it out. How did you go? How did you lose your dream home? What made it your dream home? And then how did you go to sharing another dream home with people all around the world? Just tell us the story.

Lela:

Yeah, sure. Um, so it was a very pivotal and hurtful time in my life. You know, I had come to work really hard to get this like, beautiful home that I built with, you know, my best friend, my partner, what I thought was, you know, going to be the rest of my life, right? So I think it’s important in this journey to kind of realize the backstory a little bit in the sense of how it occurred. So it happened really quickly. It turns out my ex husband was having an affair with someone in our friend group. And with that being said, he was never upfront and honest about his adulterous acts. And then so that infiltrated our life and hence where I sit today. But I think what’s important is never fessing up to the actions taken.

And so that led me to think that it was something that I did wrong, I was the one that ruined our marriage, I was the one that didn’t put forth enough or didn’t put my best foot forward as a wife. So I had a lot of inadequacies coming out of my divorce, never really knowing or never really getting closure. And then also never getting the affirmation that I had tried. I did everything I could to salvage this or, or make it right, if that makes sense. So with it ending so quickly, and you know, my life kind of getting swept out from underneath me. I had a lot of healing to do and a lot of soul searching.

Rebecca:

Yeah, I’m sure a lot of people can relate to if they’ve been through a divorce.

Lela:

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, divorce is is like we’ve spoken about prior, is it’s like death, you know, you’re losing your previous life and you’re coming in and you’re having to have a transformation or rebirth, you will literally. So, you know I couldn’t keep my previous house because of financial reasons. It wasn’t sustainable for me as a single single lady now. And so I had really prided myself on my career at that point. So I completely poured myself into my career, I made it to lead on one of the largest onboarding programs for a big tech company in North America, rolled it out globally. It was one of those, you know, points in my life where I’m like, I’m going to do this, this isn’t going to be the moment that this defines me. And it’s also going to be the moment that I really know I’m enough. And that was kind of my, my goal at that point. And then also, my mantra was, I’m enough. I will not let this divorce define me. I will not, for lack of better words, let my ex husband be the end. Like right away. It’s not the end of my story.

So even though it can feel like the end, it really does not until it’s a mental game with yourself saying no, this is not going to be how I define myself. So that was, you know, step one is I needed finances, I needed to have my financial backing. So I did, I made it and I was able to take the savings that I had, and then, you know, let go of my past life, my dream home that we had built from the ground up together and put that into action somewhere else. So a place of healing a place of creativity, a place of love for myself.

And because, you know, given the story I like I said, I didn’t have a lot of closure. I didn’t have a lot of why did this happen? You know, it didn’t come out later until I found out that my ex husband was having an affair. So a lot of what he was telling me was, I don’t love you, I’m not in love with you anymore. This is your fault. And so I took that, you know, obviously to heart and that’s what drove me a lot of the way. And then once I found out you know what, Lela this isn’t you this, this wasn’t your fault. It happens, people fall out of love.

So I took that strength and I took that energy and I purchased this beautiful little fixer upper. And if you you know, check out my Instagram you can see the transformation that it took a lot of my friends and family were like what are you doing? You know, it needs a new roof, new air conditioning, this you know, but it was love at first sight. I saw this house and there was beautiful cactus in the front and I just saw what it could be, you know, and here I was in this really, really dark place of post divorce and, and at the end needing something that I could call my own because like I said, you know, swept out from underneath me. And I needed a place to call home. I had lost my home.

And so friends and family were like, okay, is this really a good idea at this point? And it was, it was amazing. I had been renting a little apartment about a couple miles away. I had a lapse in lease. And so I had my mom come in, and I was like, Mom, we’re going to work on this house for three months straight. That’s our goal. And we’re going to transform it with the the amount of funds that I had. A tight budget, a lot of DIY, and then really pinpointing things that I knew were important to me that would make a huge impact.

Rebecca:

Like what? Like what’s one of the biggest things?

Lela:

So if you look at the outside of the house before I purchased it, it was a very drab cream color. And the door was you know, a screen door, very old. And it just didn’t have that pretty curb appeal that I had envisioned in my my head. And so what I saw was this cute little black and white house with shutters and accents that had that pop, right, you drive by and you’re like, that’s a really cute house! And I think I achieved that.

Rebecca:

It’s remarkable because, you know, you’ll have to tell us a little bit about what you did. I don’t think you changed the actual materials of the house. This was all through a new front door, mostly paint am I right about that? Oh and then some really cute shutters too. But it looks like a completely new home. It’s really quite remarkable.

Lela:

I knew what just out of instinct having gone through building a house before, but little things that really make impact paint color, fixtures, light fixtures, hardware. And so I was like okay, well I’m really good at painting. Right? Yeah. So it being Texas I did hire out someone to come and spray the outside of the house because that was not feasible for me. And plus, I have a slight fear of heights, so I wasn’t about getting on the roof. So anyways, I had someone come and paint it cost about $3,000 for the outside of the house, and you know, looking at the transformation, it’s probably the best $3,000 I’ve ever spent. Because it really did pop.

So in that, knowing that I had a limited budget, I also started building my Instagram following and partnering with local companies. So if you notice, I redid the tiling on my porch front step and so I worked with a local company here in Austin, and then also had the tile donated for marketing. And that was a huge transformation too. So there was a lot of partnership, a lot of collaboration that went into this space that I created.

Rebecca:

Did you have a marketing background? Like what made you think to even do that?

Lela:

Well, it was mostly just that of savvy, savvy nature. I think. You know, the The wonderful thing about Instagram too, is that you can build this great community with like minded people and then also people that are interested in the same design efforts and collaborations. So what I found when I first began this design journey, and to kind of go back to that I had finished my fireplace revamp. And I posted it on my Instagram feed and West Elm had re-shared it. And that was kind of the moment where I was like, wow, maybe I do have some talent in this. Maybe I do have an eye for design.

Rebecca:

And when that happened, I guess two questions. I’m sure people are wondering number one. Was there something West Elm featured in that picture?

Lela:

Yes, famous Axl couch. So it was this leather couch that I post divorce I had fallen in love with and I always wanted a leather couch. So I bought it for myself. It was a little pricey. But I got it on sale. And it was one of those pieces where I was like, this is you know, coming out of spending a third of your life with someone almost and then having those pivotal purchases. It’s a it’s a weird dynamic. You know, as you know, finances are usually something that’s pretty intertwined in marriage and having that ability to make those big decisions on your own, like purchasing your own home or, you know, purchasing pieces that you love and so is a very intuitive, individualistic mindset. But at the same time, it was very liberating, right, so here was this couch that I wanted and I’ve been eyeballing and yes, so that was the the couch in the living room photo.

Rebecca:

And at the time, how many followers did you have at the time when that got noticed and picked up?

Lela:

I think I had maybe like 400-500 followers. That was the beginning of you know, starting Lela Day Design. And so that’s where I began the journey of creating pillows and then also starting the Airbnb.

Rebecca:

So to leap forward, you don’t live in that house anymore.

Lela:

I don’t, no.

Rebecca:

I was really surprised about when we were when we were originally chatting. So you first lost a dream home to divorce. And then now you have moved out of another dream home into a new dream space. That has its own story. What was it like to leave the second home and move into the home you’re in right now. Was that a challenge? Emotionally?

Lela:

Yes, absolutely. And so I vowed you know, this is always my, my home, right? It’s my place of like I said, healing and creativity. So I’ve kept it, and it’s not something that I’m willing to let go of, or have any, you know, foreseeable future and ways of selling it. Because what I realized about moving out of that house and then you know, starting a new home, starting a new relationship, and then also recently having a child, it’s one of those where there’s a lot of change happening. And to go back to, you know, three years and change going through my divorce. That was that was a lot of transformation really quickly. So, I know mentally for myself, just in wrapping my mind around change. It’s, I have to have some individuality, I have to have some passion of my own right.

In relationships, it’s so important to have your own identity, but then also to be able to bring together to flourish together. And so that was something that you know, me and my partner discusses, you know, don’t want to sell the house, I definitely want to keep that. But let’s build a life together, raise a child and build a new house. And so that’s what we’re doing. But that will always have such an amazing place and you know, in my heart and and love that I will never forget because it’s where I did my best work. And it’s where I actually do my best work. I still go there and I have my chair in the corner and it’s my creativity spot. Again, having a newborn definitely impacts a little bit of that creativity and life right now. But yeah, it’s my home and my creative space.

Rebecca:

When you described to me that it was part of that journey of going from divorce and into this new house was about rediscovering who you are. And I know that I felt that way. For me with divorce, it was really discovering my own strength. You know, you mentioned buying a couch and getting to make some of these big purchase decisions on your own as kind of an empowering thing, but it’s also a very exhausting thing. I know I got divorced, I was like, Oh my gosh, everything is now mine to do from taking out the trash to paying the mortgage to everything. And that’s really exhausting. But it’s also really empowering because you’re like, there’s no way I can do this. And somehow you do. And I think that coming out of that we don’t want to let go of that new found strength, you know, we can partner with a new person, but we don’t want to lose this thing we’ve discovered in ourselves, right?

Lela:

Yes, absolutely. And that is one thing and I taught my mom’s one of my best friends and so I talked to her quite often about that is, you know, working so hard to find your strengths. Because in divorce you do you you start out so weak, like I was a puddle. It was a puddle. And I, you know, I look back on that time and some things I don’t even remember, like it was just very dark. So, you know, coming through and coming into the light and being the light of your life is something that, that house reflects for me is that transformation. And I’m not saying that it was all sunshine and rainbows, but I created, I created a space where I truly love and I have a lot of, you know, projects that I still want to accomplish. And I’m always dreaming for that house. Yeah. Oh, and I don’t know if it will ever be fully done or finished.

Rebecca:

Well, I always like to say houses are never really done. So I’m hoping that as people are listening to your story, you know anybody who might be going through a divorce or having been through one in the last few years might feel some hope, obviously for the outcome, and also might know that their home can be a place where they can, that they can use to discover their own strength, their own creativity, their own decision making abilities, you know, all of that can come through how we use our home space.

I’m curious how it is, as you said, you have a talent for setting up home and obviously you do. Some instincts because you didn’t get trained as an interior designer or anything like that. I’m curious. You mentioned your mom is your best friend, your childhood home, the homes that you grew up in, were they very done were they finished places? How did what you grew up in inform what you are creating?

Lela:

So that that’s a really good question. And I think it kind of ties into why I enjoy a creative space. And so one of the things is when I was growing up, there was a lot. My mom was a single mom. And so she raised two older brothers. So there’s three of us and, and so money was very tight, and we didn’t grow up fluent. And so there was there was a lot of creativity and she’s the most creative person I think I’ve ever met. She, she can turn, lemons into lemonade with anything. And so there was a lot of that and I think I do embody those characteristics as well. And so when I was little, I was extremely meticulous, and that definitely is translated into my adult life as well.

But my mom was, you know, my inspiration for that. And she could definitely make a space that you know, we grew up in a little house in Dripping Springs. And when my dad left home, she had to get really savvy and finishing the house because it was still being built. So that was kind of, I guess my inspiration too because when we, when we moved out of that home, it was gorgeous. It was, you know, she had taken her time and people had helped her and it was a healing space for her too. So looking back on that, definitely there is some fluidity in what had occurred in childhood in to this transformation in my life too. So, definitely some inspiration on my mom’s part. And I would, I would say that I’ve pulled from that. But I, from when I was little, I had to have my bed a certain way. I would, you know, my room was pretty meticulous. And I’ve always been a very intentional person since I was little itty bitty. So, it’s definitely ingrained.

Rebecca:

I’d be curious to know if you end up with a tidy child or a messy child.

Lela:

Oh gosh, I know. I’ve already thought about that. And, you know, clutter makes me very anxious. Even with toys and everything. Now, you know, she doesn’t have a lot of extraneous items like not a lot of junk. We’re trying to keep it that way. And then again, be very intentional with the design of our nursery and just not have a lot of frill because while her development is important, it’s just, I do not want to turn to toys.

Rebecca:

So speaking of your daughter, I know that you mentioned that as a child, you didn’t have a lot of money in your family. And then of course, going through the divorce, you were also in a tighter financial place, but that you really took control after your divorce, you really poured yourself into your work, you were lucky to have a job that was fairly well paying and, you know, allowed you to save and then ultimately buy your house. And so you’ve kind of emerged as an adult, at least right now into a fairly financially secure place. And your daughter is therefore being born into this more financially secure place too. When you think about money and what you want to teach her about home because you got to see creativity really unfold partly as a result of, well, money’s tight, we’re going to make this happen anyway. So therefore being creative. How do you see the relationship between having plenty of money when you choose to pay somebody to paint the outside of your house? Versus when you do things yourself and the power that comes from doing something yourself and what would you want her to learn?

Lela:

Balance. I think it’s important for balance and, you know, my, my significant other and I have talked a lot about this. But I hold a lot of pride and how hard I’ve worked in my career in my education, you know, going to graduate school, those are all very prideful things for me and I feel very accomplished with the hard work that I’ve invested. So we’ve said as far as being affluent or not affluent- or more financially savvy. It’s balanced, you know, we want to be able to provide and have her grow up with a sense of securement and then be able to know the impact of money and the way that you can, you know, work hard to achieve what you want. And so I really want to keep that seam alive in knowing that if you do work hard and you do believe in you, you have a kind heart, you can, you know, achieve what you what you want.

You know, a lot of the books that I’ve read on getting over hurdles or, whatever empowerment you want to achieve is you’re going to fail, you’re going to have hardship. There will be times in your life where the hurdles are seem so large that you don’t know how you’re going to get through. That’s what shapes the person. And I think getting through those and getting on the other side, you’re going to appreciate that a ton more, even if it’s, you know, I can’t afford to, I really want this accent wall, but I can’t afford to pay for it. So I’m going to do it myself. You’re going to appreciate that accent holds so much more than you would if you hired, you know, someone to come home and the fruits of my labor in the house that, you know, I bought post-divorce. I look at that house, and I feel so accomplished. And I would hope that in raising a child that she knows the value of accomplishments, and she knows the value of hard work.

Rebecca:

So yeah, I love that. That’s fantastic. Now when people go to your Instagram page, because obviously they will because they have to see your house. They’re going to see a lot of beauty and perfection and it’s marvelous. But we know that the road isn’t always easy now. So have you had any as you put this home together? Did you have any big design fails? Because I want to have readers or listeners to know that it’s not an easy journey and that it can still be fantastic after the fails. So what’s the truth behind some of your projects?

Lela:

So I have two that really come to mind forefront of that was epic failure. In my master bedroom, I have these really great wall lamps from Rejuvenation. They were another purchase that I had invested in post divorce and they were expensive and I justified them in my mind of these are great, they’re so great. Well, I never bought a power drill. Because I always did everything by hand with a screwdriver. So I did this in my last apartment too. I hung them when I bought them and I messed it up so I hit a stud and I have these huge gaping holes in the wall. I was like sure I’ve learned from this I will not do this again in my actual home of which I purchased and the drywall is mine now. I’ve got to be particular and meticulous on this. Well no, I did it again. And I have so you’ll see my master bedroom and there’s these beautiful lamps from rejuvenation that I have shown many a time. But behind that is some toothpaste and paint because I filled the holes with toothpaste. That works by the way if you don’t have any plaster. So yes, there’s toothpaste behind my wall and gaping holes. So that was one fail.

A lot of the stuff in my home, I wouldn’t say that it’s not done right because they’re hung on the wall they stay there they are sturdy. They’re not falling so I wouldn’t say that’s a win on my part. But um it definitely would have been more efficient if I would have had a power drill. The second is in my old home I had this really pretty subway tile with black grout and losing that was really hard because I loved my kitchen it was had silestone jawbreaker white countertops, this beautiful subway tile with black grout, and it just had so much natural light and I just loved it. I’m going into my new home I was like, You know what, I want that again. I really want that subway tile with black grout. And I’m going to try it to redo my shower myself.

Well, I got a like a grout scraper and I was going to just take down the top layer of the grout in my master shower. Well, I go to do that. And I do it on about three tiles. And I chip the tile multiple times. So there’s now ding marks in my tile and master shower. And then there’s also, I couldn’t get it down far enough. So when I went to go put the new grout in the black grout, it just looks like a smudgy blended in with old grout, black grout tile. So I have this like, in this, you know, big square on the backside of my master shower. And so I threw in the towel, obviously, on that project, and I was like, that was an epic fail. And I’ll probably have to get that professionally fixed because I’m obviously not going to be able to do it. But yeah, those are those are some of the things that I don’t show on the square. But there’s a lot of there’s a lot of those projects actually, but they really do. It was an experience. It was fun. And I definitely learned what I can and can’t do through a lot of that.

Rebecca:

And now some people would wonder or feel like now it’s messed up. Now they have to just focus on this thing that’s wrong instead of focusing on the things that are right, how do you, what advice would you give to somebody when something isn’t perfect in their home? How do they focus on the positive and not the negative?

Lela:

Yeah, so there’s a lot of things in my home that I would really really love to change. I have carpet in my bedrooms and I really like hardwood floors throughout. And you know, little things like that. Well, one of the things that I’ve noticed that really makes an impact and coming into so my house was built in 1978. It’s older. So it really did need a fresh coat of paint, baseboard trim, painting, you know, a lot of freshness can be added with little detail and so I went to Home Depot. I put new house numbers on I got a new mailbox. I put new hardware in a new light fixtures I replaced all the ceiling fans with ceiling fans from Home Depot that were reasonably priced. And new fixtures in the dining and the kitchen. Even outside too, Amazon home has great options for like farmhouse fixtures. So that was a lot of the small things and more bang for your buck. I think my biggest pride and joy is the fireplace and I show that quite a bit.

But again, painting that drab cream brick white, and then getting 100 and I think it was like $120 mantel from wayfair. And hanging that, it was it was volumes. You look at that now and you’re like wow, that was not the same, that’s not the thing. Yeah, it is, but it cost me maybe $200 to transport that between paint and, and the mantel. So those are some things that, you know, it’s important. And I guess my advice to people is, a little details can sometimes make all the difference.

Rebecca:

And it sounds like too, that things can look expensive without having to be expensive.

Lela:

They can. Yeah, and there are some things in my house that you know, I’ve definitely invested in. But those are the things that I’ve had for years too, so whether it’s my accent pillows from citizenry, or my beautiful leather couch from West Elm. Those are things that I will will have for a very long time. So if you have those pieces in your home that you’ve invested in those bigger pieces, those accent items.

You can justify in your mind, this is going to be something that I’ll have for a while, I’m not going to go out and buy a master bed set every year, you know. So I want to invest in that. But where I, where i also want to invest is into the little details that I’ve looked at so whether that’s a- oh, this is another great example. I had this really, really old and it’s from IKEA, I think. But it was one of those medicine cabinets that opens up and it has like mirrors everything and so I was like I really not digging this look. So I redid my master bathroom. And I got a mirror from IKEA for $110. So the amount of difference that just taking that medicine cabinet down and then putting that mirror up was huge, right? So just being a little creative in what you can do on your own or on a budget. And then really investing in those pieces that you know are going to have more impact.

Rebecca:

I would say that some people get a little paralyzed when they think about the things they’re going to invest in, you know, you say, Okay, I’m going to buy this couch, and I have it for the next 10 years or whatever. But we also know since this whole story story started with a divorce, we can think that we’re getting invested in something for a lifetime. And it might not work out. And so I guess the other part of it is to just don’t overthink it. Make your best decision. You can in the moment, invest with all of your heart, and then know that if the worst happens, we’re strong enough to deal with it. Whether it’s that we got the wrong couch, or we got the wrong husband.

Lela:

I love that! Yes, absolutely. I am 100% on board with that.

Rebecca:

Is there anything else you’d want to share with people about what they should think about when creating a happy home? Or what they should like not think about, like rules that aren’t true and creating happy home… anything you want to leave people with?

Lela:

I think just to piggyback on, you know, creating a space, it takes time, and it takes intention. And one of the things that I’ve learned in buying a fixer upper or even creating a space in general is that it doesn’t happen overnight. And that to really be patient with your home with your space, because it will take on a new role and a new transformation depending on time. So a lot of my friends that are purchasing homes or you know, designing or, or whatever that may be, it’s be patient because you will, it will be revealed in time. And to just have that and live in it and be in that space for a while to know what you really truly want is so important. And then also just have that journey in your home and to create that happy space. Whether it’s with a significant other or by yourself is so important too. Just to be present in your journey and have patience in it too.

Rebecca:

And that to me is a perfect place to leave this, and where can people find you on Instagram?

Lela:

Yes, so if you go to Lela Day Design, @leladaydesign, you can see my life in the little squares, the pretty squares. I do share a lot of my daughter by stories, and a lot of my home is on the squares. So right now is a transitionary time for me to entering into new motherhood. So my creativity is definitely in raising her at the current moment. But I cannot wait to get back to doing some DIY and project and design work. It’s burning in me. Exciting things around the corner.

Rebecca:

And obviously there’ll be a link to your Instagram feed on in the show notes and people can find you. And then as you’re doing new and exciting things, I’m sure you will let us know on your Instagram. Y I’m so glad you shared your story with us today. Thank you so much for being here.

Lela:

Thank you so much for having me. It was wonderful. It was great to be here.

Rebecca:

Wonderful. And to our listeners. I hope you enjoyed this episode of creating your happy place and that the stories we share today help you feel a little bit more empowered to create your happy place. If you feel stuck, please do check out my book happy starts at home. It’s filled with exercises that are meant to help you think about your home a little bit differently and identify what might need to change to help you feel happy at home. And if you have a specific design dilemma that just has you stuck, you can actually reach out to my team at seriouslyhappyhomes.com, because thanks to the power of the Internet, and zoom, we can help people no matter where you call happy home. But in the meantime, no matter where you call home I hope that it does make you seriously happy. Until next time!

 

MAY YOUR HOME ALWAYS BE HAPPY!