Want to know how to create a bedroom built for two? Here are the basics:

• Have a comfortable bed with space for two. Both you and your partner should be able to get in from your own respective sides, and neither should have to crawl over the other just to get up and pee. Annoying for them, disruptful for you!
• Flank the bed with generous nightstands. Having one nightstand might just suggest a, well… one night stand. I mean, both people deserve a place for a glass of water, right?
• Have fresh sheets and, if possible, furniture that is not leftover from a past relationship. Bedrooms, more than any other room, should be about love and growth and current relationships.

What about the decor, you ask? We’ll, this is where you have to do the tough work of figuring out what is “our” style – not my style or their style. I absolutely love the bedroom I share with my husband. That said, it’s not at all what I’d have if it were mine alone (it’d be more feminine, lots more turquoise!) or what he would have if it were his alone (he’d have a big screen tv!). But we *both* love it, and that’s the key.

How do you find “our” style? I’ll go in to detail in another post, but basically – both of you should go online (I like to use Houzz.com) and each (independently) find 10 bedrooms you like. Look at what themes come up for each of you, then compare notes and find what you have in common. 

Most importantly, whether it’s a bedroom built for two or a perfect room for yourself, know what does not belong there:

• junk mail
• laundry
• kid’s toys
• paperwork
• anything else that causes stress and detracts from sleeping

Remember that the “Pinterest Perfect” bedroom (or relationship, for that matter) only exists in the glossy pics of your favorite design magazine. There is no sin in having cat hair on your duvet (I do) or a few too many magazines on the nightstand (guilty). The only issue is when you live in a space that takes away from your joy, or causes you or your partner stress.

So here’s the full list of ideal bedroom essentials:

• Fresh paint.
• Good lamps on good nightstands on either side of the bed.
• Dimmer switch on the overhead light.
• A soft rug at the sides of the bed.
• An easy-to-make bed (that nixes too-many throw pillows).
• Fresh-to-the-relationship sheets and bedding.
• A comfortable mattress.
• Comfy sleeping pillows.
• Storage for two (too big of an imbalance of closet space can be a warning flag in some relationships).
• Curtains or blinds that offer privacy and control light and noise.
• Colors and materials that appeal to both partners.
• And little to no clutter.

What about electronics? Sigh. That’s up to each couple. I won on not having a tv, but the phones come to bed regularly. As long as you’re talking things through and on the same page, there are no rules. (I *will* point out that the blue light from cell phones, laptops, and TVs has proven to disrupt sleep patterns. Just sayin’.)

So, that’s it. Nope, these aren’t rules like “paint the room red” (rarely a good idea, actually) but hopefully that helps you create your bedroom built for two!

If you’re looking for more on this topic, check out chapter 5 of my book Happy Starts at Home.

May your home always be happy!